AN INTERVIEW WITH SIRHAN SIRHAN
INTERVIEWER: Sirhan Sirhan?
SIRHAN: Yes yes? (LAUGHS) Sorry, I always do that.
INTERVIEWER: That’s a good one.
SIRHAN: Yes, it never grows old.
INTERVIEWER: You certainly seem to be in good spirits.
SIRHAN: Why wouldn’t I be? Soon, I will taste freedom for the first time in five decades.
INTERVIEWER: Do you think you’ve paid your debt to society?
SIRHAN: The question should be: “Has society paid its debt to me?”
INTERVIEWER: Ok. Has it?
SIRHAN: Sure, why not? (LAUGHS) See what a good mood I’m in?
INTERVIEWER: So, Sirhan…
SIRHAN: Please. Sirhan is my father. Call me Sirhan.
INTERVIEWER: Okay, Sirhan… Now that you’ve been paroled, will you finally admit that you killed Senator Robert F. Kennedy?
SIRHAN: I totally would if I thought I did it, but it really doesn’t sound like me.
INTERVIEWER: But you were there. Firing a gun. At him.
SIRHAN: So I’m told. I don’t remember.
INTERVIEWER: You still claim to have no memory of that night?
SIRHAN: You know what they say: “If you can remember the RFK assassination, you weren’t killing him.”
INTERVIEWER: So if you didn’t kill Bobby Kennedy, who did?
SIRHAN: My guess? George Plimpton.
INTERVIEWER: The “Intellivision”guy?
SIRHAN: He also founded The Paris Review and was an important contributor to the early Sports Illustrated. Plus, he was there when RFK was shot.
INTERVIEWER: I know he was there, but why would he kill Kennedy?
SIRHAN: (SHRUGS) He was hypnotized or something? That’s what they say about me.
INTERVIEWER: How do the other convicts treat you?
SIRHAN: Honestly? I’m kind of a hero. There are a lot of Goldwater Republicans in prison. Plus, you know, I’ve got a really good personality. I’m just, like, full of good vibes.
INTERVIEWER: I can see that.
SIRHAN: You know what they call me? “The assassin so bubbly/ they named him doubly.”
INTERVIEWER: That surprises me.
SIRHAN: Yes, it’s very touching.
INTERVIEWER: So, what’s the first thing you’re going to do when you get out?
SIRHAN: The first thing? The very first thing?
INTERVIEWER: Yes.
SIRHAN: I’m going to kill Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
INTERVIEWER: But… why?
SIRHAN: (LAUGHS) Because wouldn’t it be hilarious?